Batman Vs Superman : My Review

Batman vs Superman : The fight of Son of Krypton vs Bat of Gotham


To start off with it, the "Fight" part isn't as much as it was expected. And I'll clear things right now, I'm not a big fan of both of these super hero's and not a comic reader as well. But as far as I had seen in the trailer and as the title suggests, there was nothing much of a "Vs" between them. The movie starts off with a scene where batman dreams about the death of his parents. Running away from the Funeral, he falls into a pit filled with bat and gets carried away to the top by bats! Pretty intimidating scene. While superman enters the Metropolis with a Spaceship from Krypton along with Captain Zod.

The VS part starts, when reckless superman ends up damaging "Bruce Wayne's" Building by accident and hurting/killing his employees. Bruce Wayne, Batman now starts hating Superman for personal reasons as well as damaging the city  by "Accident". He is so pissed off about damage to his personal property that he intends to kill Superman for that. But later on he destroys the city with his Super Car, damaging personal property of millions! Its only good when he does it, and when Superman does it by accident, He is the Devil.

Batman is not the only person ho hates Superman in this movie. A employee of Bruce who loses his leg by accident also joins the hate gang, for losing the leg. Imagine what would have happened if Superman hadn't killed Captain Zod, isn't that a bit selfish? Not only him but even the government is against him. Apart from that Lex Luthor hates him for some apparent reason, again I haven't read the comics yet so not sure why he hates it but he hates superman so much with intention to kill him. Apparently everyone tries or wants to kill Superman in the movie. Its actually Superman VS everyone. And the guy who lost his legs actually tries to blow superman off with a bomb, and of course fails! Everyone saw that coming!

There are lots of things that happen in between, the movie is quite long and over stretched. Lex Luthor succeeds in making Superman fight batman. And batman manages to steal Kyrpton from Lex and makes a Kryptonian spear which could kill Superman. To make Superman fight batman Lex kidnaps his mother, throws his girlfriend from top of a skyscraper. Superman comes to the rescue of his girlfriend in the city in seconds from somewhere in the mountains. Then goes back to the top where the Lunatic Lex is smirking, he learns about Lex kidnapping his mother and just stays there doing nothing. The first instinct of someone who just learns about his mother being kidnapped and his girlfriend thrown away from a skyscraper would actually punch the asshole first and then talk! but he just lies there helpless, he's superman for gods sake. And if you're thinking "If superman had punched him, he'd have never known where his mother is" but later on in the movie he manages to hear his Girlfriend bang on the floor from far away amidst the warzone, but yet fails to find out where his mother is ? probably screaming? He doesn't love her enough ?


Then came the part where the whole hall started Cheering! Enter : Gal Gadot ! The HOT Gal Gadot - The wonder woman, and a wonder she is! And while Superman, Wonder woman are fighting their ass off to kill this alien-y beast that Lex Created, Batman hides somewhere and yet survives but Superman, Superman Dies!! I'm not sure how that ends up in the Comics but superman dies !! I was expecting him to come out of the Coffin! But he didn't but I know he will, Super man dying? really?

But anyways, what I was expecting was a clash of ego between them, and it was fight that Batman would never win, for obvious reason, but still Batman does manage to bleed Superman. The hatred that batman feels, so much as his intentions to kill him fades in few minutes where he becomes "Friend" that was a bit off beat for me! The ego shown before that scene was the "VS" should have been but that lasted for less than 2 minutes, I think!

But still the movie is good, To watch! but still not as good as it was supposed to be at least for me it wasn't good! It all depends on personal views anyways! I didn't like the movie, I did enjoy watching it!

My View on : Facing Up : A remarkable Journey to the Summit of Mount Everest by Bear Grylls

At times you find something precious in piles of rubble, though it wasn’t piles of rubble, this book was found in a second hand book shop and cost only 100 rupees. May be no one knew the importance of this book and sold it in a second hand book shop, and there it lay for someone to take it. “Facing up : Bear Grylls” that’s what the people saw when passed by the book stall, but one of my friend picked it up and only then I realized that it was a book by Bear Grylls. As soon as she bought  it even before she had a time to read it, I asked her to lend me the book. I wanted to read the book by the most fearless guy we have ever known, at least that’s what we see. A confident, fearless and a mad ex British army who’s now a survivor expert and runs a TV show of similar manner. I wanted to read this book even more when I learned that it was about his Everest adventure.

Like I said before, the Bear Grylls most of us know is what we see in the TV, a strong, confident and a bold  man who does things we can barely think of doing. He is a superhuman of the real, non-fictional world for us. I was looking forward to reading his bravery on Everest, how he conquered Everest and how arrogantly he has written about it in his book. But only at last chapter of the book I learned that how he didn’t Conquer the Everest, rather how Everest “ The Goddess of the Sky” let him Live! This book has to be one of the most inspirational book  that I have ever read. I learned about a different side of Bear Grylls, and his story has inspired me a lot.

I had previously heard the story of Bear being an ex-army but I didn’t know why he had left the army, I had thought he just left the army to run a tv show dealing with survivor skills, but the book starts with his horrific accident with faulty parachute that crashed him in dessert floor in Africa. The accident had left him seriously injured, just cheating death by a narrow margin, and ending his career as an army, the doctors on the other hand thought he’d not be able to run again. But gradually, he got better with time and one day out of nowhere he decided to make an attempt on the summit of highest mountain on Earth. That decision shows the mental pressure he had to go through after coming from that accident and how he promised to never do anything reckless and would a normal life to his parents were soon about to change. It took a long time for him to convince his family, and in the end he got a green signal and a good support. But his desperate attempt to get a sponsor to get him going is something that laid him back, but still he was determined to scale the mountain. The few early chapters deals with how he thought about climbing and  his struggles with sponsorship and training. The main part starts after he leaves England and starts the long journey towards the Highest Peak.

I was eagerly waiting for the part where he starts the trek, I was expecting him to go on about how easy it was for him to trek to the Everest Base Camp after he got off from the Helicopter in Lukla, but to my dismay, I learned that he suffered much on his way, fighting the altitude sickness. He is a man after all, but what I had expected was a result of my comparison of the Bear Grylls that we see now in TV with the Bear who was 23 and on the way to the Summit of Mount Everest. It was intriguing to see the fearless Bear Grylls as I knew afraid and shocked to what lay ahead of him. The major shock was how he writes about getting altitude sickness even before he reached the Base Camp. I was hoping for an arrogant write up where he goes on about how easy the trek was for him, but instead the hardship he had to go through changed my view. The best thing about the book for me is I saw a different Bear Grylls, and a new found respect for him.

A new insight on Bear Grylls was laid in the later chapters, specially dealing with his time in the Base camp’s, his strenuous training back and forth the different camp sites on the way to Everest. He goes on to describe how, on his first attempt to high camp, he fell down into a Crevasse and nearly lost his life, the struggle he faced during his stay shows a different Bear Grylls that we know off. That determination he had at an age of 23 is something worth the praise. Half of the book shows his struggles and how he coped and made the right decision, how patience pays off in the mountains. His spirit to never give up is scattered around in every single chapter. It’s a story about a 23 year old kid, who went on the climb the Everest successfully, younger people have done it now but still to have done that with minimal and low budget gadgets as he describes is something extraordinary. Now as people say it’s easy to climb Everest,  back in 98 it was still a tough job and just two years before, 96 saw death of so many acclaimed mountaineers including the experience and expert Climber Rob Hall.

Even after climbing Everest, the arrogance part, which I was expecting doesn’t show up in Bear Grylls, Instead a profound respect is all he shows to the Everest, ending the last chapter with. “It was not me who Conquered the Everest, it was Everest who allowed me to crawl up to her and let me live. Also he mentions in the book that he’d never ever climb any of the 26000+ mountains again. May be he forgot about that dialogue later when he went on above Everest in a Parajet Paramotor setting a new record, sailing above Everest at around 9000 meters altitude which was a reckless thing to do, still he did it well.

The book motivated me well enough that I will definitely give Everest a try once in my life time, not sure when but I will try at least once. I remember the line where he said, he brought a small stone from the summit of the Mount Everest, I once brought a small rock from around 5000 meters for a friend but all I got was “What do I do with that Ugly rock” may be the one that Ill bring from the summit of Everest will make that Friend happy, that encourages me more! Plus I want to see what it feels like to be in Hillary Step, to watch over vastness of Tibet on one side and the plains of Nepal on the other. How it feels to see the curvature of the earth from the highest place on earth, how it feels to run out of Land to walk on, stepping on the summit of mount Everest.

Post Script: I know it sounds idiotic, but I wanted to write this, not being arrogant or anything but it gave a little confident when I read that Bear Grylls had hard time coping with altitude sickness at 4000 meters, I have been to around 5500 meters without of feeling anything! I know it’s nothing but still it encouraged me, with enough training and determination, I feel like I can do it too. I’m not sure if I ever will, I’m not going to make a promise, but if things work out, I will definitely try it once, I really want to! But climbing Everest takes a lot more than saying “I will Climb Everest” once! But nonetheless, I have a dream to climb it once!

                                                        

Gosaikunda: In a day and back!

Off to Gosaikunda for me has started to sound too mainstream, but again work is work. Unlike other times this time I was on a mission, I had a work to complete and was supposed to walk slow and take about 4 days to reach Gosaikunda and return back in two days times slowly working with the butterflies and birds of that area. I also had a small work in a local governmental school in Dhunche. I packed my bags on Thursday and took a bus to Dhunche. Though I’ve been to lots of places with crazy roads, that Raamche intersection on Kalikasthan- Dhunche road scares the bone out of me at times. And to avoid that crazy experience I took a super bus this time instead of local, hoping it won’t pick up locals and obviously reach early at the same time, but unlike my expectation it picked up every single locals on the road and reached Dhunche at about 3 pm.

I went to the regular hotel that I always stay at, I didn’t even ask the password of wifi, it automatically connected, almost felt like home, well they say “Home is where wifi connects automatically”. I rested for a while and went off to the school where I was supposed to run a small program. It a small governmental school in Dhunche, with most of its infrastructure down in rubble with recent earthquake

I met with the school teacher and then fixed the program for Friday afternoon and returned back to my hotel. The Langtang View hotel sits atop a hill, with decent view of Langtang Lirung right in front of your eyes and a good view of Gang Benchen and Tibetan mountain range. I enjoyed the view with a good cup of tea and John Grisham’s “The Chamber”. There’s something I love about tea in cold places, had a few cup of tea before it was too cold to stay outside, so went inside the room to continue the book.  It a very interesting book, well all of Grisham’s book are interesting, but this one in particular has a very interesting plot. I’m not sure I long I was in the room reading the book but a knock on a door reminded me that it was dinner time. I love the food in that hotel and the staff there are very hospitable. I went to the room after a good dinner and slept early because I had lots of things to do next day.

Unlike my plan I woke up at 8 am in the morning, it was late already, went in the kitchen had a few cup of tea’s and the went to the Market to buy few stuff that I need for the school program. Came back to the hotel for the lunch and packed my bag and went to the school. My plan was to finish the school program and then walk up to Chandanbari and then start the work next morning. The program was over by 3 pm, and I had enough time to reach Chandanbaari, but the teacher of the school insisted for me to have a lunch with them so I stayed, it was already 4 by the time I left Dhunche. I knew I could reach Chandanbari by nightfall and I’d stay there and walk to Lauribina the next day working all day on the way. Less did I know that all my plan was about to go in vain.

About 2 n’ half hour into my journey, when I reached Dhimsa, I learned that there are no hotels anywhere in the route at the moment, one because of off season and next because of the Tamang Lhosar. The only option we had was to reach Gosaikunda and return to the same place that same day. I’d have not gone and returned back but a friend of mine who was with me in the trek, it was his first time and he wanted to go to Gosaikunda, so we decided to do it the next morning. Even I wasn’t sure about it, though I had reached Gosaikunda in a single day before, I was not sure if we could reach Gosaikunda and then come back to Dhunche the same day. But still we decided to go for it and planned to wake up at 4 am in the morning and start the trek. The alarm woke me up exactly at 4 am, but it was so windy and cold that we decided to wait for an hour, and that hour turned two and we ended up walking at 6 am in the Morning. There doubts of dark clouds were surrounding my thoughts on the possibility of us returning back to Dhunche but still we had no option. We decided to leave our bags behind and the started walking. The route has become very easy for me, I remember most of the corners and turns, it’s very easy to be honest. By 10:30 am in the morning we were already in Gosaikunda, we stayed there for while ate few noodles, oranges and biscuits and then walked back down. At around 2 am we were back to Chandanbari and learned that a single hotel was open in Chandanbaari, though eating biscuits and noodles we were pretty hungry so decided to eat noodle soup and few cups of tea again, after wasting an hour or so we started walking back down, at about 3:20 3:30 we were in Dhimsha, and our plan changed a little, instead of going back to Dhunche, we went towards Syafrubesi via the Dhimsa-ThuloBharkhu Route. It was new route for me so I was happy enough to go down that road, and it would be something new to stay in Syafrubesi than Dhunche for me. At around 6 pm we reached Syafrubesi.

I was planning to do a Dhunche-Gosaikunda-Dhunche in a single day, and though I didn’t do exactly that on this trip, I managed to do Dhimsa-Gosaikunda-Syafrubesi, that too starting at 6 am in the morning, I learned that If I were to start from Dhunche at 4 am in the morning I can easily reach Gosaikunda and return back to Dhunche before its dark. As it took me only 3 hours to reach Chandanbari from Dhunche, though I did it the Dhimsa-Chandanbari trek the next morning, I would have only taken me 3 hours to reach Chandanbari If I had started the trek from Dhunche, and from Chandanbari it will not take me more than 4.5 hours to reach Gosaikunda, so in around 8 hours I will reach Gosaikunda easily and then return to Dhunche in not more than 3.5 to 4 hours. A total of 12 hours!  And the friend who was walking with me pulled his hamstring and we had to walk slow, if I was alone and in my pace, I’d have done that so easily! I was one awesome Trek!

And if you readers aren’t convinced enough with this blog that I can do Dhunche-Gosaikunda-Dhunche in a single day, don’t be! I’m doing this around may anyways! 

Keep travelling! Don't stop

Gosaikunda again.... Day 1

Gosaikunda again….

Day 1

Well one of my friend told me before the trip, you go to Gosaikunda like we go to Ratnapark, but that’s not the case. But yet again I was there in front of Pashang Lhamu Bus Service ticket counter, waiting for my bus, glancing through the number plate of each bus that arrives there, I was waiting for my bus, the bus that was supposed to leave at 7 am in the morning, the bust arrived at 7. As I hurried myself into the bus I realized that there was no seat number mentioned in my seat, just the side, It said “B” and nothing else, no seat number….I’ve been to dhunche many times and there hasn’t been a single trip where there’s no confusion regarding the tickets, that I why I buy the tickets a day before these days, and even doing that didn’t prevent me from not getting a seat, I hurried back to the counter to show them the ticket but before I could say anything a guy in the counter looked at my ticket and sir, your bus is the white one sir, I replied “ Ma Nepali ho dai” he thought I was a foreigner then the guy randomly wrote B 7 on my ticket. I knew that there’d be mistake again and there would be another guy with a ticket that said B7. On one of my previous trips three people had the same seat number. I went back to the bus, waited for someone to come and show me another ticket that said B7 and back to the conflict….

Here’s the chase, there are few things that you can’t avoid while travelling to Dunchce in the same bus service. Or lets the the trip is Incomplete without the following things

1. There’s always more than 2 people with same bus seat, today it was 3 of them
2. Regardless of what the bus says, local or super or deluxe, it will never leave in time and it will always stop in ever next corner and pick people up.
3. A drunk guy will ride bus from Kalikasthan, and a minor fight will break out during the ride
4. From Kalikasthan, there will be so many passengers that it will take at least 5 minutes to completely empty the bus
5. After Kalikasthan, again, there will be so many baggages that it will be very hard to walk in the walkspace of the bus
   and the trip is not complete if there isn’t a rooster rocketing inside the bus aimlessly! I was almost sure that the last part wont happen today, but almost at the end of the stop….Voila! It happened

Let’s get back …

The bust left at 7:30, though the counter guy said, it will leave strictly at 7, and I waiting for another guy with B7 but that didn’t happen, instead 3 guys had B11 seat and there was a minor tussle for the seat but it was solved in no time, because they are used to it. In most of the trips I had silent guy next to me, but not today, somehow I ended up with a chatterbox who won’t stop talking. He talked about Religion, Politics, Sports, Nature, Wildlife, Wetlands, Agriculture, everything that is there to talk about. I just nodded and said, Yeah that’s right all the time! And as we neared Dhunche, he talked about Earthquake for about 30 minutes, I listened to him this time and there was nothing but misery in his voice and what he had to say. His aversion towards the government and relief policies, well not sure whats situation on that but according to him no relief in terms of building construction has reached a single family in his village, which was supposed to be the part of 200,000 Nrs which the government was supposed to give for reconstruction.

Apart from that the trip was pretty normal, I mean nothing interesting happened at all. I got off at Dhunche, went to the same hotel I stayed when I was here before, and had a good cup of black tea and few oranges, looking at the Massive Langtang Lirung Mountain right in front of me along with Gang Benchhen of Tibet… and now here I am with a bowl of spicy water which was supposed to be a good noodle soup and my small notebook, writing about today. And Since I’ve reached the point where I’m writing, I guess this is it for today! Tomorrow should be interesting!! Lots of works to do, before I leave to Gosaikunda

A failed attempt, to forget!

The wind soared as the night fell, the evening lights and sounds of generators and barking dogs somewhere along the road was melody to his pain, along with the sound of silence in his heart! He looked at his watch,  a digital watch that he bought of the footpath shoed 19:43 Pm. It was pretty late into the night, with the next turn he'd end up inside an alley that leads into his home. The dark alley is darkest as darkness can be, enticing fears even in non believer that he is. He took his mobile out of this jeans pocket, he needed the flashlight as it almost impossible for him too see anything. Right when he was about to turn in the light he tripped on the speed breaker, his  phone slipped from his hand and fell on the ground with a crackling sound. It was pitch dark for him to see the battery, so he ran his finger on the ground, and found the casing first, and the battery and finally the body, shattered in the dark , where he was left out to seek something he list in a complete darkness much more like his life. He lived in a darkness called life where all of his dreams were lost and shattered to pieces. There was nothing right going in this life. Even in darkness he managed to put the phone back together, struggling with the battery for a short time. He started walking towards his home with mobile flash light leading the way! It was almost 8 when he reached home.

After freshening up and quick dinner, he called it  day, but it would still take him an hour or two to fall asleep. He just stared towards the dark ceiling, where he saw tiny sparks of his dreams fading slowly with every breath. Even in darkness, at times her face lit up in the thin air, like clouds they passed him, as she smiles and fades into the darkness. While he was deep into his thought, his phone rings, a call from a close friend.

"Hello, how are you holding up?"

"I’m doing good" he replies

"Well I can certainly sense it in your voice, don't hide!! You can always talk to me"

"I know that" he says with forced excitement

"You have to move on! Try distracting yourself! Have you tried meditating?" The friend adds, " It works, I have friends who tried that and got through stress problems"

"You know that I don't believe in these stuff!!

"Well at least try it once, there's no harm in it!! Even if you don't believe in it, it can at least distract you for sometime!"

"I’ll think about it , I'll talk to you later, good night" he cut the phone off

He back to staring in the ceiling staring at his dream, staring at her.... but he knew it that the more he thought about her the more harder it would be for him. He tried distracting, but nothing worked. Then he thought about trying meditation. But he knew nothing about it, so he looked in the internet for different methods of meditation. He learned about the techniques and philosophy behind the concept of meditation. About how one can control innerself with thoughts. He went deeper and deeper, learning more and more about meditation. After few hours of research he tried meditating  but couldn't stop thinking about her at all. He kind of knew that meditation did not work. He looked at his mobile and saw that it was almost midnight...he turned his phone off and closed his eyes!!

The new morning brought a new day, yet for him, the old memories tagged along, he woke up early in the morning at 3 am with a nightmare and couldn’t sleep. So he decided to try meditating, in the silence of the morning. He closed his eyes, and tried to concentrate on a void, tried to think about nothing, while trying to think about not thinking anything, he knew it was a tricky business. For a second he did think about her, tried hard to forget, the more he tried the more he thought about her, about her hair, her smile, her voice, but after constantly trying to concentrate on not thinking about anything, he finally succeed and he found his void, he found his inner silence. He didn’t even realize that it was already 6:13 am when he finally opened his eyes, and he felt good, infact very good that morning. He got up from his bed, went to kitchen, prepared breakfast and then went about his daily activities. That day whenever he was free, he looked in the internet about various methods of meditation, he read articles about how meditating could control your brain waves, how they could possibly alter the various activities, these stuffs were a bit farfetched for his scientific brain, yet he was not in a place to judge, all he wanted was a rescue from recurring thoughts of her. Desperate measures in desperate times, as people say, he was desperate enough to try anything possible. He read a very interesting article on how one could reach inside the brain, how one can direct its soul inside own body and reach the brain center and change the memories inside the brain. It was like plot right out of some Sci-fi movie from him. He spent a long time reviewing the article specially on that method.

Later that night, he turned off all the lights in his room, closed the windows, insulated the small openings in his door and window, made his room sound proof and started meditating, In hope of reaching the brain center and erasing the thoughts about her. He tried for hours but nothing happened, he was about to give up but right before he stopped, he felt as if his inner self was inside his body, but lost it soon enough as his concentration was broken, thinking about if he should stop. He again tried for hours, and finally he felt that his whole inner self, or soul as people call it, inside his body, the amusing part was, he felt as if his real body was inside his body and he couldn’t feel his actual body that’s resting on the outside. The first thing he saw was a network, filled with sparks, that looked like a sky filled with fireworks, it looked beautiful. Strings and strings of colorful jellyfish like network with continuous sparks, but before he could enjoy the marvellous sight in front of him, he was swept away by a thick fluid, a thick reddish fluid, that was flowing with strong current, he was scared, he tried to grab anything that he could, but he failed, with a gush, he entered a dark chambers, completely embedded in the dark liquid, and he could feel the compartment expanding and relaxing, and with each of those contraction and relaxation, he could feel that the fluid is being forced out of the compartment, he tried to hold on the a string of fibres near him, he grabbed anything he could find and started looking for an opening, he felt a flap opening, but before he could make up what it was the fluid pushed him outside the compartment and he again started flying through the tube like vessel submerged in the red dense fluid. This time it travelled a longer duration than before, the vessel started tapering at the and reached a compartment, he was thrown down into a circular compartment, where he rotated along with the the fluid for sometime and exited out of through a smaller vessel, and he could sense that certain fluids were going out of the vessel and entering the vessel at the same time. Again he was pushed along the vessel, but this time he somehow could manage to grab onto a small perfusion and got out of the vessel. As soon as he got out of the vessel, he fell into a large chamber, it was dark, and filled with hair like processes, tonnes of it, he fell in the corner of two processes like that, he climbed to the top of that hill like structure and saw that the whole chamber was filled with it, and most of the chamber was filled with stuff. He again started looking for some opening but instead he was pushed down by a large chunk of substance to another vessel, this time there was fluid like before but had solid substances, he could the diameter of the vessels changing, and the it went up and down and sidewise before reaching a dead end, that’s what he thought, it was like swamp and he couldn’t move at all, he tried, he was stuck here for a long time, and before he almost lost his hopes, he saw a light at the end of the vessel, he hurried towards the end, and with a gush of wind he was forced outside and he fell hard on a pool of water.

That’s when he woke up and realized, that he felt asleep trying to meditate hard enough to reach his brain and deleting the memories. He realized, that life is a process, and all we feel, all we are nothing but a machine and our body constantly functions like a machine does and we can’t change anything about it from the outside, just by concentrating enough. Nothing but time and determination can change how we feel and from that day forward, he moved on slowly and gradually.

Voices

I looked at the pavements on the floor in silence, aimlessly, thoughtlessly, may be with a little thought, I guess without that not even silence can exist. The patterns there nothing new, not systematic enough, but they had existence now, and they’re there. Bricks upon bricks, meaningless yet meaningful. Confusing, I thought to myself, just like everything in nature, everything in life.

The randomization amused me, even forms, those who laid the bricks must have tried to find a systematic method to it but I guess he got tired because nothing is near to perfection, just as she wasn’t. My mind was about to be deviated towards her, that wasn’t something I was looking for, I needed a deviation away from here, I tried to distract me from thoughts, the more I tried to distract the more it let me to her. I looked at the bricks, the pattern…. Think….think I said myself, think about something else…..I looked towards the floor again and realized I had an empty glass on the floor, I needed another cup of Hot lemon. “Didi arko ek cup banaidinusna” I’m a regular customer there so I don’t need to mention anything else, she’ll understand, she was just stranger to me and she understood me at least with something, but a person who was close to me for such a long time never understood me, may be that is how it works. Again..distract….distract… a voice inside cried out loud. I could hear a voice inside me, I know I’m not talking but yet I hear voices inside me that resembles me, resembles my alter ego, there’s definitely two person inside me, one who tries to move on in life and one who loves the past, regardless how dark it is.  How do I hear my inner-self? Is it really talking? Can I hear others? May be these women in front of me, I guess I can hear the inner voice? Let me try…..

Right then, a glass shattered, and broke the silence in my imagination. There was this person in front of me, just a form, I could make that she was girl….

“Can I talk to you if you don’t mind?” She asked

I knew she was girl because she had girls voice, this form, I don’t know I just don’t remember her face, I just know she was a girl.

“ I was sitting over there and couldn’t help but notice that you were sitting alone, and that something is bothering you…

I have no idea how she knew that, I was about to ask but she continued.

….Bothering you because you’ve drank more than 11 cups of hot lemon and have done nothing but stare at ground wondering about those patterns of the bricks I presume.

Now she really got my attention, how did she knew? Was she hearing my inner voices like I thought about hearing others? How did she know?

“Don’t worry you’ll get through…She kept talking not letting talk at all…. Through it, there’s always a silver lining.

Finally I stopped her and asked, Who are you? Do I know you? Partly angry

She just didn’t care, and went on…you motivated, you arrogant, but motivated, you know you can and will do better, stop being sad….Bring out the pervious person in you, the fun person, the happy person. Feelings and emotions, they are like dreams, it’s all in your head and they come and go as you please, I know it’s hard but it’s not achievable if you try…I know you’ll never forget her, moving on is not forgetting her, its remembering her and to be able to live with the fact that she’s not yours anymore, she has a life and it was her decision, you can’t force someone to love you! But you can force yourself to stop loving someone.

She really started to piss me off

“You need to be strong, there’s so much to do in life….”

I stopped her, and asked

“Tell me who are you or I’ll stop talking”

She replied,

“Just like the other person inside you, beside you, I’m just another you”

I looked around for the person she talked about, beside me, there was no one, just those two women from before and no one, I looked behind me, no one! I looked back towards the girl, she wasn’t there. She was gone, my thoughts ran heavy, my eyes started looking for her but she was nowhere….There were few people lining outside Sankata temple, few couples feeding the pigeons but she was nowhere to be see.

Then I heard a voice

“Is something wrong?” the tea lady said

No, nothing wrong didi, I replied, why?

She said, because you’ve been talking to yourself for the last few minutes

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A sadness creeps inside
the soar throat,
a line of pipe with unspoken words
dark and haunted
by unfulfilled dreams
and souls of hopes
that died before they saw
the light of the day

a hand moves in
grabbing me by the throat
a hand Im familiar with
while the next hand crushes my heart
constricting it as try to cling on
of my last breathe

with the fading eyes
I slip into the darkness,
helpless, I scream but my voice go
unheard,
alas, with the last light
I saw the ever glowing face
a face that I love