Monday, October 26, 2009

Me

I heard it many times before that time kills the pain but as far as I was concerned the pain was killing my time. The pain inside, was flowing through my veins like a poison slowly attacking the neurons on my brain. I do know what is wrong and what is right but something inside me wants me not to judge it but to find out the reason, why that one is right and the other is wrong. A partially tranquilized mind with some kind of psychedelic music playing inside a dark room, lighten by small candle I guess, I had disabled the ability of my brain to think. I guess we don’t think what our brain thinks; our brain thinks what we think. And yet we are unable to conquer the 2.5 kilo grams of matter that lies in the place which hurts like hell when you think of the girl you loved. The brain never reminds you of her, you make him remind you about her, how you loved her and she left you out cold.
Why can’t every thing be good? Why there has to be a dual nature of everything? What if the world was a better place all along? No crime? No hate? No bombs? What if no one had to die? What if there was no word as tears for the word happy? What difference would it make? What’s the meaning of dying? If there has to be birth again, A billion? That’s what we must have in the world? Is that how it works? Why can’t the 1st billion of people never die and make it billion overall why a million has to die and million rebirths to make it a billion? Now it seems like the only answer I’m searching for and I don’t know the reason why. A moment ago, I was thinking about her, she left, never ever wanted to be with me, she judged me, why? And that’s the question she can’t answer and I need an answer to is how? How did she judge? I am no where near what she thinks I am and what she doesn’t know about me is what I want her to know.

The light inside my room is fading away. Another question, why there has to be a question to everything? Just because we think or? There always is a question?
What exactly is darkness? Just the absence of light or the presence of dark? Or is it not the absence of light but absence of someone?
Does darkness really prevails? What would you call a room with a small candle light inside a dark room at night? The candle lighting the darkness or the darkness surrounding the small candle light? You think it’s the same either way? That’s our difference.

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